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Trying to Help by Dennis Miller: All the rhetoric on whether or not we
should go to war against Iraq has got my insane little brain spinning like a
roulette wheel. I enjoy reading opinions from both sides, but I have detected a hint of confusion from some of you.
As I was reading the paper recently, I was reminded of the best advice
that someone ever gave me. He told me about the kiss method (keep it
simple, stupid!); Id like to apply this theory for those who don't quite get
it.
My hope is that we can simplify things a bit and recognize a few
important facts. Here are 10 things to consider when voicing an opinion on this important issue:
1) Between President Bush and Saddam Hussein ... Hussein is the bad
guy.
2) If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right thing, keep
this in mind: They have Libya heading the committee on human rights and Iraq
heading the global disarmament committee. Do your own math here.
3) If you use Google search and type in "French military victories,"
your reply will be "did you mean French military defeats? (This is stretching it a bit). What you really get: Google search: French military victories... No
standard web pages containing all your search terms were found. Your search - French military victories - did not match any documents.)
4) If your only antiwar slogan is "no war for oil," sue your school
district for allowing you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the
education you deserve.
5) Saddam and Bin Laden will not seek United Nations approval before
they try to kill us.
6) Despite common belief, Martin Sheen is not the President. He plays
one on TV.
7) Even if you are antiwar, you are still an "infidel!, and Bin Laden
wants you dead, too.
8) If you believe in a "vast right-wing conspiracy" but not in the
danger that Hussein poses, quit hanging out with the Dell Computer dude.
9) We are not trying to liberate them.
10) Whether you are for military action or against it, our young men
and women overseas are fighting to defend our right to speak out. We all need to support them without reservation.
I hope this has been helpful.
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